My First Three Arguments?

I had a gentleman comment on my book, the Covenant of Betrothal. His blog is called ‘Old Testament Studies’ blog and someone sent him a link to my book. He had some interesting things to say, things that were rather intelligent. Unfortunately, he seems not to have actually read my book. Many of the ‘objections’ that he raised were actually things I had dealt with, in a way he would approve of.

It would probably be boring to deal with the entire post, so much of which would make sense if it was actually written about someone who believed the things he accused me of. But, for now, I will just deal with his first point. He writes:

I only looked at the first three arguments: the argument from Rebekah and Isaac; the notion that this was meant to contrast with Jacob and Rachel; and the idea that Genesis 2 is antithetical to young people choosing their spouse.

Now, this is fascinating for two reasons. First of all, I am fascinated to find out that the first seventeen pages of my book, the entire first chapter, the one that lays out the whole reason and method for the rest of the book… contains no arguments. The way I counted it there seemed to be dozens of arguments per page. So, I ‘m not at all sure how he figures that the arguments he mentions are the ‘first three’.

The second fascinating thing is that the three things he mentions are not, actually, arguments in my book. Of course, if he had actually read the first part of the book (or the rest of it) he might have understood this.

What he doesn’t understand was what my entire book is all about. The point and goal of my book is to try to determine how God would have us get married (or, for fathers like myself, how our children should marry). My operating assumption is that Scripture does, actually, speak to that.

So what I did, what I do, is take the various proposals: dating, courtship, and betrothal. More specifically, I examine the various principles behind these methods.

Dating and courtship, for example, have a basic principle, expressed variously but basically, “No one should get married without first going through a period of friendship, getting to know each other, and the like.”

Now, does the story of Adam and Eve support, or deny, that thesis? Did the first marriage, which God Himself arranged (pun intended) involve a ‘period of friendship’, where Adam and Eve ‘got to know each other’? Was it only after that period that Adam finally got down on one knee and asked Eve to be his wife?

Another principle favored by the dating and courtship crowd is “It must be the child themselves that picks their spouse, and initiates the process.” Does the story of Isaac (where his father sent a servant for a wife for Isaac) or even the story of Jacob (where his father commanded him to take a wife from the daughters of Laban) support or refute that thesis? Does Scripture show these two men rejecting their father’s choice? With God’s encouragement, of course?

As the beginning of my book makes clear, our goal was to go through the entire Word of God to see what the law, teaching, and examples has to say. And what they have to say, over and over again, is not dating, and not courtship. Principle after principle of courtship and dating are consistently refuted; principle after principle of what we call ‘The Covenant of Betrothal’ are consistently affirmed.