Be not 'Content'

I have learned to be content

The other day I was having a discussion with an unmarried young man (not so young, I imagine) and when discussing his marriage state I was admonished by the young man and an (I imagine) unmarried  young woman that his proper state was 'contentment'. The following verse was quoted:

Php 4:11  Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Php 4:12  I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Php 4:13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Now this is an excellent verse, and an important concept. But I am going to go out on a limb here and challenge all of our unmarried  young men to 'Be not 'content''. (Single quotes around the word 'content' courtesy of a certain recently-married not-so-young-man of my acquaintance).

First of all, let us look at when we are to be content. Paul himself provides circumstances here: full vs hungry, abound vs suffer need.

And again in his epistle to Timothy he speaks of similar issues:

1Ti 6:7  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 1Ti 6:8  And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 1Ti 6:9  But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. 1Ti 6:10  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1Ti 6:11  But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. 1Ti 6:12  Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.

Jesus likewise spoke of contentment:

Luk 3:14  And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.

As did the writer to the Hebrews:

Heb 13:2  Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Heb 13:3  Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body. Heb 13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Heb 13:5  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

James goes beyond this, calling for rejoicing through trials and temptations:

Jas 1:2  My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Jas 1:3  Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. Jas 1:4  But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. Jas 1:5  If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Jas 1:6  But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. Jas 1:7  For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. Jas 1:8  A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

Jas 1:9  Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted: Jas 1:10  But the rich, in that he is made low: because as the flower of the grass he shall pass away. Jas 1:11  For the sun is no sooner risen with a burning heat, but it withereth the grass, and the flower thereof falleth, and the grace of the fashion of it perisheth: so also shall the rich man fade away in his ways.

Jas 1:12  Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

In Scripture we see dozens of Godly men suffering persecution and even death, going contentedly through (or, occasionally, not so contentedly, being human) their trials.

So how then can I insist that we 'be not 'content''?

Be not content

Well, let's look at some men that were not 'content' in Scripture. Some men that, far from accepting the circumstances they were in, instead actively fought against them, changing those very circumstances, or at least rebuking those who caused them.

We are told that Godly men are not to be content with sin, their own or others.

Lev 19:17  Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.

Consider Christ and the moneychangers.

Mat 21:12  And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, Mat 21:13  And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

How 'content' was he to let that circumstance continue?

Or consider his admonition to the gentleman with the beam in his eye.

Mat 7:1  Judge not, that ye be not judged. Mat 7:2  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Mat 7:3  And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Mat 7:4  Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Mat 7:5  Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Here we see Christ 'discontent'. He condemns the man for his judgment, and for the beam, and then, when the beam is finally removed, he admonishes to man to then, finally, help remove the speck from his brothers eye. All in all, a lot of things to be discontent with.

Consider the man who is actively condemned for preaching contentment by James: Jas 2:14  What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? Jas 2:15  If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, Jas 2:16  And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Jas 2:17  Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

His brother was in need. Preaching contentment, even being content yourself (content with your brother's situation), was completely forbidden. What was needed was action: meeting the need, finding and providing the necessary food and clothing.

So, what is the difference? Well, it seems to me that the differences is one of between enduring a passive evil, or difficulty... versus changing an active evil. Where the situation is one's own sin, another's sin, a brothers need.. then action is required; positive action to end or at least rebuke the sin of another, end one's own sin, or meet the need.

A passive evil

So, how does this apply to being unmarried? Well, my fear is that too many Christian young people see being unmarried as a passive evil... or even a passive good. Their path to marriage seems, to them, to be something that resides outside of themselves, something that God must initiate, in some mysterious way. And, being unmarried for long after they had thought they would be married, they have begun to deceive themselves into thinking that this must be God's will for them.[i]

But is it? Everything that happens is God's will, in the general sense, but is it God's will, when your car is stuck in a ditch, that it stay stuck in the ditch? Are we to lounge by the side of the road hoping for a passing tow truck? Or are we to whip out our cell phone, or wave down passing motorists? Walk to a gas station?

Is this ditch of being unmarried that so many of them are in really what God has for our young people? Or are they in the ditch because we have driven them there? And because they have left themselves there?

Scripture is full of admonitions to marriage, beginning with God Himself, not content with his creation, stating, "It is not good for man to be alone."[ii] I Cor 7:9 specifically insists that the unmarried man or woman who is struggling with lust must marry[iii]. I Cor 7:2 states that, because of fornication each man and each woman should marry.[iv] These sentiments are reflected in Proverbs 5, where the Godly man rejoices in the bed of the wife of his youth, instead of the bed of the strange woman.

"Take wives, take wives for your sons, give your daughters in marriage" the Jews were told in the Old Testament[v]. "I would that the younger women marry..."[vi] "Teach them to love their husbands, love their children, manage their households..."[vii] we are told in the NT.

But even more importantly we are told that marriage is the seedbed of an elder. That it is in marrying, having children, and raising a  Godly household that a man becomes qualified to rule the house of God.[viii] In the OT we see God treating Israel as a wife, even an adulterous wife. In Ephesians five we find the pinnacle of the role of marriage: our human marriages are a reflection of the very relationship between Christ and the church.

And so I argue that our unmarried young men should 'be not 'content'' in their unmarried state, anymore than they should in any 'not good' state. They should, instead, be strong and courageous. They should lay aside every weight of false doctrine, false modesty, and fear, and... get married. It is not good for man to be alone, and so, you man, should not be alone.

The major problem, as I have written time and time again, is not our young men, nor our young women, although they both have their share of the blame. The real problem is the father's of the church. We have taught a system: courtship, that specializes in rejecting or delaying marriages[ix]. Without Scriptural warrant, and in the face of clear Scriptural commands, it does not 'let them marry'. It says, 'not yet', 'not now', and 'not to this person'. Our fathers need to 'be not content' with this system and return to the Biblical system of taking wives for our young sons, and giving our young daughters in marriage.

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[i] And write blog posts and theological articles 'explaining' this.

[ii] Gen 2:18  And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

[iii] Calvin writes of this passage: let every one, in abstaining from marriage, do it so long as he is fit to endure celibacy. If he has not the power of subduing his passion, let him understand that the Lord has made it obligatory on him to marry. 

[iv] Calvin writes: "as for those that have the gift of abstinence from marriage, he leaves them at liberty, [371] while he commands others to provide against their infirmity by marrying."

[v] Jer 29:6

[vi] 1Ti 5:14  I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

[vii] Tit 2:4  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, Tit 2:5  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

[viii] 1Ti 3:2  A bishop then must be ... the husband of one wife,...1Ti 3:4  One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5  (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

[ix] See http://www.lulu.com/product/file-download/what-are-you-doing/16206880 for more on this issue.